Getting a Donor Meeting: “They always say they’re too busy.”
This is one of the most ambiguous responses in fundraising — and the most important to read carefully. “I’m really busy right now” might mean exactly what it says. But it often means something else: the value of the meeting hasn’t been made clear, or this doesn’t feel urgent enough, or occasionally I’m looking for a graceful way to decline without conflict.
What’s really going on
For the fundraiser:
- “I’ve tried three times. I’m running out of ideas.”
- “I don’t want to seem like I’m not respecting their time.”
- “Maybe they’re just not interested and they’re too polite to say so.”
For the donor:
- “I don’t have a clear sense of what this meeting would accomplish.”
- “This isn’t the right time — but there may be a right time.”
- “I care about the organization but I don’t have capacity to engage right now.”
What not to do
Don’t keep asking the same way. If the same request hasn’t worked twice, a third identical ask won’t work either. Change something.
Don’t take the next slot they offer without confirming the meeting. “Let’s find a time in the fall” is not a meeting. It’s a polite deferral. Get a specific date, or at minimum a specific follow-up point.
Don’t apologize excessively for being persistent. You’re not being a nuisance. You’re trying to invest in a relationship that matters.
What to say
First, make the value of the meeting clearer in your ask. A busy person needs a reason to carve out 20 minutes. “I’d love to catch up” is easy to postpone. “I want to share something specific that I think you’ll find meaningful — and I’d love your perspective on it” creates more pull.
If they say they’re busy, try:
“I completely understand. It doesn’t have to be soon — would [month, two months out] make more sense? I’d love to find 20 minutes when the timing feels less pressured.”
You’ve taken the urgency off without letting go of the meeting. Then follow up at the time you mentioned.
If they’ve said they’re busy twice:
It’s worth asking a more direct question:
“I want to respect your time, and I want to make sure this is actually useful for you. Is there a better moment in the year to connect, or would a different format — a quick call instead of coffee, or even an email update — work better?”
You’re offering flexibility, not giving up. And you’re giving them permission to tell you something more honest if “I’m busy” is a softer version of something else.
Keep going. Most people are finding it takes six to twelve attempts to reach someone — Marc’s clients are often closer to eleven or twelve. Two attempts isn’t a verdict. It’s the beginning. Change the channel, change the approach, and try again.
For a complete multi-touch sequence — emails, calls, texts, LinkedIn, even a handwritten note — see the Pleasantly Persistent Follow Up Formula. And if you’re wondering how many times is too many, Marc answers that directly: How many times should you follow up a fundraising ask?
AI prompt
A donor has said they’re too busy to meet — more than once. I want to follow up in a way that’s flexible and warm, makes the value of the meeting clearer, and doesn’t make them feel pressured. Here’s the context:
- Donor description (no real name): [e.g., “A major donor who has given for four years; she’s an executive and genuinely does travel a lot”]
- How many times I’ve asked: [e.g., “Twice — once in March, once in May”]
- What the meeting would accomplish: [e.g., “I want to share how her last gift was used and explore whether she’d consider being involved in an upcoming campaign”]
Draft a short, warm follow-up (under 120 words) that offers more flexibility on timing, is clear about the value of the meeting, and doesn’t push. Include a subject line.
Privacy note: Describe your donor generally rather than using their real name.