Donor Objection: “You nonprofits are all the same”
This one stings a little. Before you get defensive, get curious. This donor response almost always comes from experience, not ignorance. Something shaped this impression, and finding out what it was is far more useful than arguing against it.
What the donor may actually be saying
- “I’ve been burned by organizations that overpromised and underdelivered.”
- “Your communications feel generic and I can’t tell what makes you distinct.”
- “I give to a lot of causes and you haven’t given me a compelling reason to prioritize you.”
- “I’ve had a bad experience — maybe even with your organization — that I haven’t mentioned.”
- “I don’t know enough about you to see what makes you different.”
Notice how many of these are communication problems, not mission problems. That’s important.
What not to do
Don’t launch into a list of accomplishments. An organization that responds to “you’re all the same” with “actually, here’s why we’re better” sounds exactly like what the donor already suspects — defensive, self-promotional, and not listening.
Don’t argue. You won’t change anyone’s mind by winning a debate. And even if you technically win, you’ve lost the relationship.
Don’t take it personally in the room. The donor is telling you something true about their experience — even if it isn’t true about your organization. Start there.
What to say
Lead with genuine curiosity:
“I’m sorry you feel that way. May I ask: have nonprofits done something to give you that impression?”
Then listen. What comes next almost always tells you what you’re really dealing with: a past negative experience, a gap in how you’ve communicated, or a comparison they’re making to an organization they admire.
If it’s a communication gap:
“I hear you, and a lot of organizations do sound alike. What are the nonprofits you enjoy giving to? How do they sound different than the others?”
Then listen again. You are learning. You may be able to share a specific, honest donor impact story that couldn’t have come from any other nonprofit. But even if you aren’t able to, you still have learned more about what is important to this donor.
If it’s a past negative experience:
“Would you be willing to share more about what happened? I’d like to understand — and to see if I can help make it right.”
A word about your best witnesses
As Marc often says: the donor expects you to say good things about your organization. What surprises them — and moves them — is hearing other donors say good things about your organization.
If you have donors who can speak to why they give and what they’ve seen change because of it, their words are your strongest response to this objection. When shared with permission, those stories belong in your newsletters, your case statements, and in the room with you. A peer saying “this organization is different” carries weight you simply can’t generate on your own. Marc calls that “third-partying” — an honest statement from someone with no agenda.
AI prompt
A donor said we seem “like all the other nonprofits” when I was making an ask. Here’s what I know about their giving history and what they seem to value: [context]. Here’s what genuinely distinguishes our organization: [details]. Help me think through how to respond with curiosity rather than defensiveness — and draft language that makes our distinctiveness feel concrete and real rather than like marketing copy.
Privacy note: Use initials or a general description rather than your donor’s real name. Avoid including sensitive personal details or information shared in confidence.