Getting a Donor Meeting: “It’s been too long since I’ve been in touch.”
This is one of the most common reasons fundraisers don’t reach out — and one of the most avoidable. The gap grows for understandable reasons: you got busy, the timing never felt right, you weren’t sure what to say, and then another month passed. And now it’s been six months, or a year, and reaching out feels like admitting to something.
Here’s what’s usually underneath this hesitation:
What’s really going on
- “If I reach out now, they’ll think I only contact them when I need something.”
- “It’s been so long that reaching out will seem obvious.”
- “I should have been in touch sooner — reaching out now feels like an apology I have to make before I can get to the actual reason I’m calling.”
- “I don’t know how to explain the gap without making it worse.”
Any of these is understandable. None of them are reasons to stay silent. The longer the gap, the harder it is to close — and the only way to close it is to close it.
What not to do
Don’t over-explain the gap. A long paragraph about why you haven’t been in touch draws more attention to the absence than a simple acknowledgment does. Say it briefly. Move on.
Don’t pretend the gap didn’t happen. An email that opens with “Just wanted to share some exciting news!” after eight months of silence reads as oblivious, not cheerful. The donor knows. You know. Acknowledge it.
Don’t wait for a better time. There is no better time. The best time to reconnect is today — not when the campaign gets closer, not after the next report goes out. The campaign will be awkward to mention no matter when you reach out if you haven’t been in touch.
Don’t lead with your organization’s needs. If the first thing in your email is about the upcoming campaign or a funding gap, you’ve confirmed what they suspected: you only reach out when you need something.
What to say
The structure that works: acknowledge the gap briefly, own it without excessive apology, make a specific and simple request.
Email:
Subject: It’s been too long
Hi [Name],
I realize it’s been longer than I’d like since we’ve connected — and that’s on me. I’d love to fix that.
Would you be open to a 20-minute call or coffee sometime in [month]? I’d genuinely love to hear how things have been going on your end and share a bit of what we’ve been up to here.
[Your name]
Keep it short. The email’s job is to get the yes — not to pre-explain everything you’ve been doing since you last talked.
If you’d rather call:
“Hi [Name], this is [Your name] from [Organization]. I was thinking about you and realized it’s been too long since we’ve connected — that’s on me. I’d love to find 20 minutes to catch up sometime this month. I’ll send you an email too, but if it’s easier to reach me directly I’m at [number].”
Follow up with the email the same day, as promised.
The follow-up if they don’t respond
Wait five to seven business days, then one short follow-up:
Hi [Name], just wanted to make sure my earlier note didn’t get buried. Would love to connect sometime in [month] if you’re open to it. No pressure either way — I just didn’t want to let it slip by again.
Then let it rest briefly — and try again. Most people are finding it takes six to twelve attempts to reach someone — Marc’s clients are often closer to eleven or twelve. Change the channel, try a phone call, or send something of genuine value.
For a complete multi-touch sequence — emails, calls, texts, LinkedIn, even a handwritten note — see the Pleasantly Persistent Follow Up Formula. And if you’re wondering how many times is too many, Marc answers that directly: How many times should you follow up a fundraising ask?
AI prompt
I need help writing a short, warm email to reconnect with a donor I haven’t been in touch with for a while. Here’s the context:
- Donor description (no real name): [e.g., “a major donor who has given for 5+ years, most recently 18 months ago”]
- Length of gap: [e.g., “About 10 months”]
- What I know about them personally: [e.g., “She mentioned her son was getting married last time we spoke”]
- What I hope the meeting will accomplish eventually: [e.g., “Lay groundwork for a capital campaign conversation later this year — but I don’t want to lead with that”]
- My name and organization: [Your name, organization name]
- Preferred meeting format: [Call / coffee / video]
Write me a short email (under 120 words) that acknowledges the gap without belaboring it, leads with the relationship rather than organizational needs, and makes a specific meeting request. Include a subject line.
Privacy note: Use a general description rather than your donor’s real name. Don’t include sensitive personal details or information shared in confidence.